he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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