We're facebook friends in real life
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
