Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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