Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
