No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
