take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
