We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
