We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
