I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
