He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
