saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
