You can't special order awesome
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
