i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
