Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
