Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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