Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
