How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
