just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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