she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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