ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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