The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
