Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
