I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
