My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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