Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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