Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
