I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
