I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
