gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
