In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
