there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
