Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
