Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
