ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
