Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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