I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
