I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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