Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
