Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
