i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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