Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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