O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
