Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
