His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
