It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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