Barsexuality is the new black.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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