I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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