I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am available for nakedness
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
