I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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