Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
