i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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